


the way the cookie crumbles

by peachsneakers



Series: preservation of the self [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, References to Depression, Stress Baking, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Who would have thought?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 12:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19723552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Logan would never admit it, but sometimes baking soothes him when he's particularly stressed.





	the way the cookie crumbles

There's something soothing about combining all the proper ingredients in the right order to achieve a desired result, Logan muses, adding the dry ingredients in careful, measured doses. Everyone else is asleep, but he can still feel the tension in his shoulders. He can't imagine the mockery that would descend, were anyone to catch him. Roman would taunt him for weeks. Virgil might sneer or smirk a time or two. And Patton, well-

Well... He couldn't see Patton _mocking_ him, exactly. But he didn't want to turn his solitary activity into one requiring a teammate. That would be counterproductive to its intended goal. Which, if Logan was completely honest with himself, was...

He stiffens and turns the mixer up a little higher. _Lie by omission,_ his mind taunts him. At least in his own brain, it sounds nothing like Deceit.

He doesn't need to think about anything else anyway. The stress of the day can wait for the next morning, when Logan's appropriately wired himself up on three or four cups of coffee, enough to withstand Roman's blustery blowhardiness and Patton's overly sunshiney smile. This, this is simple. This requires nothing more than a recipe and a steady hand. And the ingredients, naturally, but those come naturally when you live in someone else's head.

Logan shakes his head a little, trying to clear it. His thoughts are muddled, and he hates that. He despises it almost as much as he hates having his words stolen from him. He still hasn't quite forgiven Deceit for that, even if he can understand why. Thomas had to be _ready_ to know. Logan is everything logical. He _knows_ this.

And yet...

He measures even spoonfuls of cookie dough onto a tray lined with greased parchment paper. If he is careful, the smell won't awaken anyone. If it does, he can always vanish and let someone else deal with pulling them out of the oven. Patton's done it once before. Patton just assumed that they had appeared because he'd been dreaming about cookies. A half-smile breaks Logan's stoic expression. Only here could life have a chance of working that way.

He wonders what it is like for people in the outside world. Do they have their own sides, locked away behind innocent eyes? Do they have their own hopes and dreams? Their own curiosity?

Is their own logic as jagged around the edges as Logan feels?

 _I'm fine,_ he thinks to himself, firmly, as he puts the cookies in the oven and sets the timer. This one is quiet and will alert only him.

" _Do_ keep lying to yourself, Logan," Deceit says, popping out of the shadows and sitting on the kitchen counter. In the dim light, his smile looks positively sinister. Logan looks away.

"I have no idea what you are speaking about," he says stiffly. "I haven't said a word."

"Falsehood," Deceit hisses, turning Logan's favorite word back on him. Logan stiffens in outrage as Deceit leans closer. "You forget, _Logan_. You don't have to speak aloud for me to hear." A forked tongue tests the air, before Deceit tosses him a smug grin. "I _totally_ didn't hear you. All those thoughts about how you're fine, you're totally not breaking..."

"Deceit..." Logan warns. Deceit stops, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Why this?" Deceit asks, looking down at the cookie supplies that Logan's absent hands have already started to stow away, back into their proper places.

"It helps me think," Logan says shortly. "It-" He stops, unwilling to admit out loud that it helps him calm down. He's _Logic_. He's not supposed to have emotions, especially not ones like _these_.

"Well, I see everything wrong with it and I absolutely don't think that you should keep doing it," Deceit murmurs. He looks almost wistful now. Logan wonders why.

"Thank you, Deceit," Logan manages to say. Deceit grins.

"Oh, and by the way," he murmurs, leaning down to whisper in Logan's ear. "I changed your alarm for the cookies." He twiddles his fingers as he fades away. Logan lunges for the alarm just as it goes off with a deafening bray. He winces. There's no way the others won't have heard that. Indeed, he can already hear a commotion.

He smiles, ever so faintly.

Maybe that's what he needs after all.

**Author's Note:**

> ...i'm not really sure what happened with their dynamic, but there you go.


End file.
